Good Intentions
by DevlinV1
Summary: [FIN:2003:Slash] Matt Hardy has always had good intentions towards Shannon Moore. He busts his butt a bit much, but it's all to motivate the younger man to great things. What will happen when Matt realizes that his motivations have gone too far?


**Good Intentions**

**By Archangel**

Shannon sat down on the lid of the toilet, slowly unwrapping the tape from his wrists. It had been a horrible evening for him. He had lost yet another match. As if that wasn't terrible enough, this time Matt had come down to the ring to gather him up. Instead of being gentle with him, concerned for his safety, he had been enraged and beaten him. With thousands of people in the audience, plus the show crew, the announcers, not to mention millions of people watching on television, Matt had beat Shannon like a dog that had pissed on the carpet. He had half expected a rolled up newspaper to hit his nose.

Usually Shannon didn't have to endure such pain in public. Prior to this night Matt had walked him into the back, let him get checked out for severe injuries, and led him back to their locker room before lying down his punishment. Now on top of the bruises and welts that covered him from the match and from Matt's unrelenting teachings, he was humiliated beyond anything he had ever felt.

"You had to find a new way to get through to me I guess," he whispered to himself. "Nothing else was working so you had to think of something that would motivate me to stop fucking up."

Finally he wadded all the tape up into a ball and shot it into the waste basket. Then he pulled his elbow pads off and laid them on the counter. He pulled his shirt over his head and dropped it carelessly to the floor. He rose to his feet again to undo the buckle on his belt, sighing with relief of the tension around his belly. He paused to look at himself in the mirror. He looked good and he knew it. His body was filling out more and his muscles were becoming more defined. It hadn't taken long for Matt's workout routine to show on his lanky form. In fact his body was starting to resemble his teacher's. That was a good thing. Maybe Matt would notice it one of these days and be happy with it.

Shannon caught sight of his arms in the mirror and instantly his small smile faded. He looked down at his left arm, running his fingers lightly over the lines that crisscrossed over his skin. Hidden by tape and elbow pads Shannon's wounds were having a hard time healing. He knew he had to let the air get to them from time to time, but he had nowhere to hide so he could do so. If anyone saw the cuts on his arms, especially Matt, he'd be done for. They'd lock him in a psychiatric ward for sure. Both of Shannon's arms were covered with cuts that were too perfectly spaced and even in length to be accidental. He had been trying to get himself straightened out. Matt could only go so far in his punishments. Beating him, insulting him, and humiliating him was legal within WWE. However, if Matt were to ever draw blood with a knife he'd be suspended permanently. So Shannon did his best to do it for him. Not that Matt had ever told him to. No, Matt would never say such a thing. Shannon only assumed Matt wished he could do such things to him.

"Where did it all start, Matt?" he whispered again. "We used to be equals. Friends. Now all I get from you is grief."

Shannon let his mind travel back through time, flipping through his memories to when things were simpler and more fun.

"Alright! C'mon Shannon!"

"Woo! Let's go, kiddo! You can nail it!"

Shannon looked at Matt and Jeff from the corner of his eye. He dared not turn his head or body for fear of losing his balance. He was standing on top of a ladder positioned in the corner of the ring. Below him was one of the practice dummies for learning new moves. He had told them he wished he could do the Swanton Bomb. Now here he was about to try. He had practiced onto the trampoline to keep from getting hurt, even letting Jeff be his victim. This was a bit different, however. He was higher up and the landing wouldn't be soft.

"I think he's froze," Matt muttered.

"Nah, he's just getting ready. He can do it." Shannon took a breath and looked down at the dummy below. "Don't think! Just jump!"

Shannon heeded the words, only pausing long enough to judge his distance, then threw himself forward. He watched as the mat came up to catch him and turned his head at the angle. The back of his neck hit solid and his body rolled with the momentum, throwing him into a sitting position before he fell backwards. His head landed on the dummy's padded belly.

"Yeah! That was perfect!"

"Holy shit! He got it on the first try!"

Shannon blinked as Matt and Jeff appeared over him, the brothers leaning over to make sure he was okay. They had matching smiles on their faces and showered him with praise as they pulled him to his feet. The world spun in a circle at first, but he was steadied by their hands.

"I did it? It was right?" he asked.

"You nailed it!" Jeff exclaimed.

"If that had been a real person they would've been slaughtered!" Matt added.

Shannon smiled proudly, turning to look up at the ladder he'd jumped from. He really had just jumped off of that thing. It was amazing. He had been scared shitless, but the fall had felt incredible. Now he understood Jeff's obsession with flight.

"Shan, you were awesome. I'm so proud of you, buddy," Matt said and put an arm around his shoulders.

"Thanks, Matt. It means a lot."

"Hey, you've got a lot of talent. You know that. Someday you're gonna get to the WWF with me and Jeff. We'll make you our third Hardy Boy. The three of us together will be unstoppable!"

Shannon grinned up at his best friend, teacher, and idol. Matt Hardy was damn near the main focus of Shannon's life. From the moment the two had met in high school they had been very close; as close as two guys could be and not be related or gay. Shannon had always been a wrestling fan, but to hear that Matt really was a wrestler had impressed him like nothing else. He had begun coming over to the Hardy home to watch Jeff and Matt go at each other's throats and eventually been pulled into the 'ring.' More like onto the trampoline. They had taught him the moves, how to transition into different ones, how to sell an injury and job to his opponent, and basically how to wrestle. Before he even realized it he could carry out a whole match with either of them and hold his own.

Time had passed and soon enough Matt and Jeff were having their first matches with the WWF. Then they were given real contracts. At first Shannon had been worried about losing his friends, but Matt had remained in constant contact. Whenever he could come home he'd call Shannon first thing. He helped Shannon get started into the business, helping set up shows, get promotions, and everything else he could do to bring Shannon in. All of the training and pull Matt gave paid off until one day Shannon was standing in the middle of the empty arena prior to Smackdown!. Matt was by his side, smiling from ear to ear as he watched his younger friend look around in wonder.

"I'm really here, aren't I?"

"Yep. Welcome to WWE, Shannon."

Shannon looked up at him with a grateful expression, feeling as if he might even start to cry if he didn't watch it. Matt seemed to read it because his own face softened slightly. He put an arm around Shannon's shoulders, getting embraced instantly.

"Thank you, Matt. I would've never made it this far without you."

"I told you I wouldn't leave you behind. You deserve to be here as much as I do."

"Shit. I'm getting all girly," he muttered as a few stray tears rolled over his cheeks.

Matt snickered. "It's okay. Even the toughest hardasses here cry sometimes."

Shannon pulled back from him and quickly wiped his face. Matt didn't seem to care at all even if he did have a damp spot on his shirt now. He motioned for Shannon to follow him down to the ring, walking over to the apron to place his hand on the edge of the mat.

"Our first time on a real show Jeff and I went down to the ring when no one else was around and ran our hands all the way around the outside of the ring. Neither of us quite knew why we did it, but neither of us got hurt that night at all. The other guys were amazed, especially since Jeff took the beating of a lifetime. But no injuries. Sore, yeah. But nothing broken, no bruises, no scrapes, and no scratches."

Shannon watched as Matt momentarily got lost in his memories, his chocolate brown eyes growing distant. Then Matt began to walk around the ring, his fingertips trailing over the mat at the very edge of the apron. Shannon looked down at the mat himself and laid a hand upon it. He followed Matt's lead. Hopefully this little superstition would help. He was filled with nervousness; had been all day. He was frightened to death that he would botch one of his moves, forget what he was doing, or just completely freeze in front of the cameras and crowd. He looked back up at Matt when he came around to the front of the ring again.

"Don't be scared, Shannon."

"I'm trying."

"You were trained by me. I know you can do this. I believe in you one hundred percent. There's nothing you can accomplish if you set your mind to it."

"I dunno, Matt. Maybe I'm not ready for all of this."

"You are," he said sternly. "I wouldn't let you get in over your head. I'm here to help you remember."

"Believe me, Matt, I know. You've helped me more than I'll ever be able to repay you for."

"You don't owe me anything, Shan. You're like another little brother to me and brothers don't keep tabs of things like this."

Shannon smirked. "Just what I need, more older siblings. Like I don't have enough of my own already."

Matt laughed and started back up the ramp with Shannon right on his heels. Little did Shannon know that had been the beginning of the end. Shannon hadn't performed to all of Matt's hopes and expectations, nowhere near them. He was a constant disappointment. He couldn't win a match for the life of him. He couldn't even save Matt from bad situations during his matches. He hadn't even been able to get Crash Holly to act like an MFer. Shannon had turned into a total failure and Matt had made him pay for it.

A knock on the door brought Shannon out of his daydreams. He had been completely lost in his thoughts and not even aware of what he had been doing. He was supposed to be showering and then going to bed.

"Shannon? Are you ever coming out of there?" came Matt's voice through the door.

"Yeah. Yeah, hold on."

"No hurry or anything, I was just starting to wondered if you had died," he chuckled and walked away.

Shannon sighed and looked down at his watch. He'd been in here for nearly an hour and had accomplished nothing more than getting half stripped. He quickly brushed his teeth, combed his hair, and tended a bit to his wounds. Then finished changing into his pajamas, a long sleeved baggy shirt and some boxer shorts. He gathered up his dirty clothes and stepped out into the hotel room, glancing at Matt hesitantly. The other man was lying on one of the beds watching television. Shannon quickly put his clothes into his bag and climbed into the other bed, settling himself down into the starched sheets. Across the room Matt turned the TV off. Shannon listened as Matt's jeans dropped to the floor and were kicked aside, the rustling of his shirt following a moment later. Then the light flicked out and Matt got into his own bed without a word.

Shannon sighed to himself, pushing the covers down around his waist. He hated sleeping with shirts on, especially long sleeves. He had no other option, though, after slicing himself to bit. Matt had almost discovered them once when Shannon had forgotten about them. He had looked at him the most peculiar expression when Shannon had yanked his sleeves down so quickly. Matt wasn't the type usually to pry into secrets so he had ignored it.

"Hey Shannon."

He tensed slightly and looked towards the opposite bed. "Yes, Matt?"

There was no answer at first, but Shannon knew Matt was the type to think his words over carefully. He waited.

"I'm sorry about what I did to you in the ring. I shouldn't have done it in front of everyone."

"It's okay, Matt. It taught me a good lesson."

Matt never replied to him so Shannon rolled back over onto his side. When he finally got to sleep his dreams were filled with the abuse he lived in everyday.

"Finally! Matt Hardy has come back to Cameron!" Matt yelled in his best Rock impression, which also happened to be his worst Rock impression.

"That was so lame," Jeff said as he walked up to him.

"Jeffy!"

The brothers embraced for the first time in months. Shannon paused unpacking the car to look at the two of them for a moment. He envied how close they were. Even with Jeff having left the business Matt was still as fiercely loyal and loving to his little brother as ever. The feelings were reflected in Jeff's joyous green eyes as he smiled at Matt and looked him over for any changes.

"Hey, your head got bigger."

"Hey, your dick got smaller."

"Matt!" Jeff exclaimed in complete shock. "Jesus, who the hell have you been hanging around with to pick up an insult like that?"

"It was all Shannon's fault. He's a potty mouth."

"Huh?" he looked up innocently.

"Are you gonna make the potty mouth carry your bags, too?" Jeff asked as he came over to help.

"It's okay, Jeff! I've got em. I carry most of the luggage all the time."

Jeff arched a brow at Matt, who shrugged. "It builds muscle?"

"Not if you don't carry them, pudgy," he poked Matt's belly.

"What d'you know, skinny boy?"

"I'd rather be skinny than fat."

"Matt's not fat. That's muscle," Shannon defended.

"Thank you, Shannon."

"Ya know, you don't have to be his MFer when you're not in front of the camera," Jeff said.

Shannon just laughed a little and walked up the sidewalk to Jeff's front door, lugging the bags with him. Once inside he dropped them to the side of the doorway and made sure they were out of the way so no one would trip on them. Then the boys settling down in the living room to relax and talk, catching up on all that had gone on in their absence. The conversation went on for hours until it was already starting to get dark.

"Shan, will you get some drinks for us?" Jeff asked.

"Sure. What d'you want?"

"There's some lemonade in a pitcher in there."

"Okay."

"And bring the sugar bowl with you, too," Matt added.

Shannon nodded and went to the kitchen, getting down three glasses and helping himself to a few pieces of candy that were in a bowl on the counter. He nearly tripped over the cat on the way to the refrigerator. Once he had the glasses poured he decided he'd come back for the sugar instead of risking a big accident when he dropped everything. It wouldn't have made much of a difference for the cat decided he wanted to hunt and pounce the cuff of Shannon's jeans when he tried to walk away. He stumbled forward, the glasses flying from his hands and shattering on the floor, and landed flat on his face. He looked up from the floor as Jeff and Matt came in to see what had happened, his face flushing a deep crimson.

"Damn your cat, Jeff," he muttered.

"Oh, he gotcha huh? Yeah, that happens to me sometimes, too."

"Sheesh, what a mess. Good going, Shan," Matt scolded.

"Sorry."

"It's no big deal! I've got tons of glasses and a mop. Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just lemon flavored and damp."

"Mmm, lemon flavored Shannon," Jeff playfully flirted.

"Shut up, Jeff," Matt made a face at him.

"I didn't say anything!"

Jeff left the room to go find the mop and something to put the broken glass in. Shannon meanwhile began picking up the pieces. He let his wet hair hang into his face so Matt couldn't see his blushing face. He was humiliated again. This time Matt hadn't even had to try. Shannon had done it on his own by being a screw up once again. He couldn't even get drinks for his friends without falling on his face.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Matt asked.

"Yes. I'm fine."

"What's on your sleeve?"

"Lemonade?" Shannon paused to look down at his white long sleeved shirt, seeing stains of deep red showing through the soggy spots. "And something else. Must've gotten into something earlier."

"Did you land on the glass?"

Matt knelt down and took Shannon's wrist, reaching to push the sleeve up. Shannon yanked his arm away as hard as he could. For a moment Matt only stared at him with a mixture of shock and confusion. Shannon swallowed the lump in his throat, muttered that he had to change clothes, and shoved past Jeff who had returned with cleaning products.

"Whoa. What's wrong with him?"

Shannon slammed the door to the guest room, locking it behind him. He pulled his shirt off and looked down at his arms. He hadn't fallen on the broken glasses, but the tumble had reopened some of his previous cuts. These ones were deeper than his usual and on the inside of his forearms instead. He blotted at them with a dry, clean section of his shirt, putting pressure on them to stop the bleeding a little. It didn't help much so he dug through his bag to find his tape. He wrapped his arms only from his wrist to his elbow, leaving it off of his hands so the others wouldn't notice. He rummaged through his things again in search of a darker colored shirt.

"Shannon? Are you okay?"

He flipped a black long sleeved shirt over his head and opened the door to a very concerned looking Jeff. He eyed him over quickly before stepping inside and closing the door.

"What's going on with you and Matty?"

"What d'you mean?"

"Matty is sitting in the kitchen right now talking about how much you hate him. Meanwhile I see you sucking up and kissing his ass as much as possible. And what the hell happened to make you come lock yourself up in here?"

"One, I don't hate Matt. He's my idol. Two, I don't suck up. Three, nothing happened. I just wanted to get out of my shirt before it got sticky."

Jeff looked at him skeptically. "Right. If I didn't know any better I'd say you were dating and having an argument."

Shannon smiled and shook his head. "Nope, that's not it. It never will be either."

"Yeah, I know. Matt's not that type."

"Guess it doesn't run in the family."

"Nope. So are you sure there's nothing wrong?"

"I've been a little moody lately," Shannon lied. "Maybe he thought I was pissed with him."

"Okay. If you're sure that's all."

Jeff and Shannon went back into the living room to find Matt putting a DVD into the player. He had cleaned the mess in the kitchen, replaced their drinks, and even made popcorn. Once the movie was set (Lord of the Rings) he took his place on the couch between Jeff and Shannon, which meant not only did he get to hold the popcorn bowl, but he was surrounded by the guys he loved most, which he told them before the movie started. Convenient considering he shushed them from commenting because of the movie.

Later that night Matt's comment about loving he and Jeff still echoed in his head. It had preoccupied him so much that he still had no clue what Lord of the Rings was actually about. Shannon stared at the ceiling of Jeff's guest bedroom, feeling alone and completely out of place. Coming home was supposed to be fun and joyous. Instead it was the same as it was on the show, only the abuse was to a lesser degree, and the crowd was only Jeff. It was hours before Shannon could fall asleep.

Matt woke up early the next morning, as always, rolling over in Jeff's warm bed to discover his brother wasn't there. He blinked and raised his head, looking about Jeff's messy room. There was no sign of him. There was, however, the smell of coffee faintly in the air. Matt gave a sleepy smile and crawled out of bed. His nose led him into the kitchen where Jeff sat at the table staring out the window into the chilly morning.

"You're up early," Matt yawned.

"Sit down. Have a cup." Jeff insisted with a very serious tone of voice. Matt did as instructed and took the chair directly across from him, accepting the coffee Jeff poured. "We need to talk about Shannon."

"Okay."

"What the fuck are you doing to him?"

Matt blinked. Jeff hadn't raised his voice in the slightest yet he felt like he'd just been screamed at. He took a sip of coffee to hide his worry. Once his composure returned he answered the question.

"I'm not doing anything to him. What are you talking about?"

"I see everything that goes on in front of the camera. I've seen how badly you treat him. Now I wanna know how much of it is play for the fans and the story and how much of it is real."

Matt sighed. "I knew you wouldn't approve. I had to get strict with him, that's all. He was losing it. He had absolutely no faith in himself or his work. Being nice and supportive wasn't doing any good so I kinda had to start drilling him."

"What exactly do you do to him, Matty? Tell me every damn detail."

"I yell at him a lot. I admit I knock him around some. It's nothing serious." Matt leaned forward and met Jeff's eyes. "Shannon is my best friend. Hell, he's more than that even. I would never do anything to seriously hurt him."

Jeff shook his head. "I think you're wrong. In fact I know you're wrong. You've done something horrible, Matty."

"Jeff, I'm completely lost here. What do you know that I don't?"

"Maybe you better go see for yourself. Go take a look at him while he's still asleep."

Matt cocked a brow at him, but didn't hesitate in getting up. He walked through the house to the guest room in the back. The door was open a small crack. He peeked through to see Shannon was still sound asleep and snoring. He pushed the door open and came over to the bedside, kneeling down next to it to watch the boy sleep. He looked even younger like this. Matt's eyes trailed over him slowly. It didn't take much effort to find what Jeff was talking about.

Matt walked back into the kitchen silently going over to a cabinet that he and Jeff hardly ever opened. It held all of the alcohol that Jeff kept only for certain friends, the Hardy's having never been ones to drink. Until today. Matt pulled a bottle of dark rum from the cupboard, returning to the table, and poured a good amount into his coffee. He stirred it with his finger then drank it down without pausing, coughing afterwards from the alcohol. Jeff watched him without a word. Once Matt set the cup down a solitary tear rolled down the side of his face.

"When did you find out?" he asked.

"This morning. I woke up after you kicked me out of bed for the second time. I thought I'd wake him and ask him if he wanted to see the sunrise with me."

"Now I know why he's been wearing those sleeved shirts. And why he pulled away from me so hard last night."

"So that's what happened. You tried to look at his arm?"

"There were spots of blood on the shirt. I thought he'd cut himself on the glass." Matt rested his head in his hands and sighed loudly. "This is all my fault."

Jeff wasn't going to say 'tolja so' or anything. He merely remained silent and looked at Matt. Obviously, he had never had a clue as to exactly what he had been doing. He was wrought with guilt. For some reason Jeff didn't feel that sorry for him. Matt had been too hard on Shannon and he should've known better.

"What are you gonna do?"

"I'm never going to hurt him again. I'm gonna treat him right. This can't happen anymore. Not ever." Matt's voice cracked with held back emotion. "I won't let him kill himself."

"I don't think that's why he's doing it. He's punishing himself in way that you can't. He's trying to please you." Matt looked up at him with dawning realization. "You expected perfection from him. You're not perfect, Matt. Why does he have to be?"

"I dunno! I don't know what the hell I was doing. Or thinking. I just can't believe that this is happening."

Jeff sighed and refilled his cup. "You better set him straight. Make him remember that you love him." Matt sniffled and nodded, but Jeff reached over and tapped him in the side of the head. "Tell him. Tell him to his face that you love him. Cry in front of him like you're trying not to do now. You're always so manly and buff, too proud to show your emotions, so controlled and in control all at once. You need to show him how you really feel. He'll understand that. He's like me, Matt. Show me, don't tell me."

"He's like you, huh? Completely like you?"

"If you mean gay, yes. Or he's at least bi. Why the hell does that matter?"

"It matters. Believe me it does." Jeff's emerald eyes widened, but Matt cut him off. "I'm going for a walk. I need to think."

Jeff looked out the window as Matt stalked off down one of the paths through the woods, still bare foot and wearing only his pajama pants. Behind him he heard Shannon yawn as he entered the kitchen.

"Hey what's with the bottle of rum?"

"Your winner, Ultimo Dragon!"

Shannon pulled himself up into a sitting position in the corner, hanging onto the ropes to keep himself up. He gasped for breath as the sweat poured down his body. He had lost. He had lost another match. It seemed like no matter how hard he tried anymore he would never win against anyone. He tried to raise his head and maybe get to his feet, but he couldn't move. He was paralyzed with fear. Even with the referee chattering in his ear and checking him over he could hear the sounds of the crowd. A mixture of cheers and boo rang through the arena as Matt made his way down to the ring. Shannon did manage to turn his back to the turnbuckle, facing Matt as he rolled into the ring.

"No… Matt, no! Please, not again! Not in front of everyone!" he protested.

Matt merely stared down at him, his dark brown eyes penetrating and boring into Shannon's fearful gaze. He ducked his head and covered it with his arms. He pleaded with Matt and begged him not to hurt him in front of everyone. He was trying not to cry, but the tears came against his will. He felt Matt's hands on his shoulders, pulling at him, but he resisted. He knew his punishment would be worse because of it, but he didn't care. He wasn't sure if he could take another whipping. His body could handle it; that wasn't the question. He just knew that if he looked into Matt's eyes and saw hatred, or felt his fists come down upon him, or even felt his nails dig into his flesh that he would snap.

"Matt, please. I'm begging you. Leave me alone. I'm so sorry," he whimpered.

"No, Shannon, I'm sorry." He grabbed Shannon's chin and forced him to look up. "I'm sorry for everything I've done."

Shannon blinked in confusion. He looked into Matt's eyes and saw nothing but sadness. Had he failed? Had Matt given up on him completely? He had no chance to question him as Matt slid out of the ring, pulling him by the ankles and helping him to stand by the apron. He slipped an arm around his waist, supporting him, as they walked towards the ramp. Shannon limped beside him as much as he could. He had twisted his ankle during the match.

"Does it hurt?" Matt asked.

"No. No, I'm okay," he lied.

"You always were a terrible liar."

Shannon gasped as Matt made a quick movement. He expected him to lash out for his injured ankle or knock him to the floor. His feet were swept out from under him, but no injury came from it. The floor never met the back of his head. Instead Matt cradled him in his arms; pausing to make sure he had his balance, and then continued up the ramp. Shannon couldn't stop staring at his face, studying Matt's expression closely and searching for any sign of deceit. Was this all just a show for the crowd? Matt had been getting a lot of scruff because of his abuse so maybe he was just trying to win over the crowd again.

Once behind the black curtains and out of sight from the crowd Shannon expected things to return to normal. Matt didn't set him down, though. Instead he carried him all the way to the medical rooms, lying him down on one of the tables gently.

"I'll go get one of the docs to look you over." He paused, looking at Shannon's foot. "Let me get your shoe off for you first."

Shannon watched him as he untied the laces and loosened them as much as he could before carefully slipping the shoe off. He pulled his sock off right after and examined the swollen ankle for himself.

"What do you think?" Shannon asked quietly.

"It's not bruised of anything. You probably just sprained it." He looked up at him. "We'll let the professionals decide, though. I gotta get ready for a promo, but come to the locker room when you're done, okay?"

That was it. He was going back to his old ways and dealing out his punishments in private. Shannon nodded silently, not meeting his gaze again. Matt patted his leg before exiting the room. The doctors came in to bandage him up and give him an ice pack only moments later, confirming Matt's suspicions to be true. Only sprained. He could even walk on it without further injury even though it would be sore. They gave him some aspirin and sent him on his merry way.

Merry way indeed. Shannon slowly trudged down the halls towards the locker room he shared with Matt Hardy. His mind was empty of all the questions that had been swirling around earlier. He had no doubts in his mind what would come when Matt returned to the room. Only god knew how terrible his beating would be this time. The more Shannon thought about it the more he realized that he would give anything in the world to not have to face Matt's temper again. He'd give his right arm…

He stopped, looking down at his taped and padded arms. He still had his knife in his duffle bag. If he could get to the locker room way ahead of Matt he could get away with it. He started down the hall again as fast as his injured ankle would allow, locking himself in the room. Only Matt and a few other backstage crew members had keys to the locker rooms. He'd be safe from everyone else. He dug through his bag in a panic, searching for what had become his most prized possession.

"Looking for this?"

Shannon froze. It was Matt. He hadn't even noticed him on the opposite side of the room. He had been so focused that he hadn't seen him at all. He slowly rose to his feet and turned around. Matt leaned against the lockers, twirling the knife around in his hands as he looked at it. He raised his eyes to Shannon's.

"You went in my bag to get that?" he asked.

"I didn't snoop through anything. I knew that you had it. I've known ever since we were back home. Jeff discovered your cutting and told me about it." He opened the knife and surveyed the blade carefully. "That morning when I was gone in the woods for hours. That morning when I had the first drink of alcohol I'd had since I was still a teenager. That was when I saw for myself exactly what I've been doing to you."

"Matt, I did it to myself."

He met Shannon's eyes then, turning the business side of the blade towards him. "I know, but I was the reason behind it. Now, I'm gonna put a stop to it once and for all."

Shannon's eyes went wide with fear. "You can't do anything to me. If you attack me with a knife you'll get fired and charged with assault."

"I'm not talking about you. I want you to watch something."

Matt pulled some of the tape off of his wrist to bare the skin and dragged the knife across it. A thick line of blood rolled down both sides of his arm just from the one slice. Shannon gasped and rushed forward, grabbing the knife from Matt's hand.

"What are you thinking? You don't know how sharp this damn thing is!" Shannon put his hand over the wound and squeezed to halt the bleeding. "You idiot. You fucking idiot. How could you do something like that?"

"How could you?"

Shannon looked up at him again, their eyes locking. He could see now that Matt had done it on purpose. He was trying to make a potentially lethal point. Shannon sighed and shook his head.

"It's not the same thing. I have my reasons. I deserve it. You're doing this just to try to make me feel worse."

"No, I'm trying to show you how much it hurt when I saw your arms torn to pieces. I spent that whole morning hiding out in the middle of the forest so that no one would hear me sobbing. It felt like you had ripped my heart from my chest and stomped on it."

"Like you stomped on me in the middle of the ring?" he hissed.

"Yes… Precisely." Matt sighed and pulled his arm away, moving over to sinks along the wall to wash away the blood. "I'm trying to apologize here, Shannon. You know it's not exactly something I'm good at."

"That's for damn sure."

Matt eyed him warily. "You're angry. You haven't been openly mad at me in a long time."

"I was afraid of getting my ass kicked."

"That's not gonna happen. Not ever again."

Matt sighed as he washed his arm carefully. The blood was still trickling from the open cut, but had ebbed off slightly. He grabbed his roll of tape to cover it. Shannon sat down on the bench across from him, refusing to speak another word. He wouldn't lift his eyes from his own feet. Matt thought carefully about what he had to say, the many things he had to try to explain. It seemed impossible. His logic had flown so off track that it was complete nonsense. He couldn't even remember how he had convinced himself to give Shannon that very first beat down.

_Tell him to his face that you love him. Cry in front of him like you're trying not to do now. He's like me, Matty. Show him, don't tell him._

"Jeff…" he whispered.

"What about him?"

Matt raised his head, not realizing he'd said that aloud. "He told me something about you that I should've known a long time ago. Two things actually. The second one doesn't really matter, but the first is important."

"What'd he tell you?"

Matt straddled the bench next to Shannon, looking at him for a moment. He still could provoke no response. Finally he reached out, wrapping Shannon tight in his arms and pulling him to his chest. He heard the sound of fear and protest, but ignored it. He held Shannon's tense form to his own. He ran his hands through the slightly damp baby fine hair. He refused to let go until he felt Shannon relax. No matter how long it took he would make him realize that he didn't need to be afraid anymore.

"Nothing I do or say can ever repair what I've done to you. I know that deep inside I'm always going to be that man who betrayed you, hurt you, and thought it was justified. And I don't expect you to ever forgive me. I just want to tell you, Shannon, that I'm so very sorry. And even if you don't believe me, I love you with all of my heart. No one's ever gonna hurt you again. Not even me."

Shannon took in the words and thought each one over. He hadn't heard Matt speak so sweetly in a lifetime. Still, with all that had gone on between them he had to wonder if this wasn't just some sick joke. It could easily be Matt's next plan to mess with his mind. Matt wouldn't let him go even when he tried to pull away, but he did manage to twist himself to look up at his face. Matt looked down at him with red rimmed eyes. Shannon couldn't believe what he was seeing. There were unshed tears standing in Matt's eyes. They rolled down both cheeks the second that he blinked. Matt didn't try to hide his face or even wipe them away. If anything he gave in to them, a small sob coming from his throat.

"Matt… You're crying?"

Matt didn't answer him. There was no need. He did finally duck his head, moving in closer and pushing himself into Shannon's arms. His face pressed into the curve of Shannon's neck and he began to really cry. Shannon returned his embrace as his body began to shake with each sob that came from him. In a way Shannon enjoyed the pitiful sound. It showed him that even the great Version 1 had feelings, a heart, and could be hurt. Still he was overcome by Matt's grief. He clung to him, trying to soothe his aches but to no avail. Matt cried until he had nothing. His tears soaked Shannon's Mattitude shirt and darkened it another shade of black. He pulled away from him, but not out of Shannon's hold on him. He looked down at the younger boy with all of his anguish showing clearly in his features.

"Shannon, I love you. Please, believe me when I say that I love you more than anyone save Jeff."

"I believe you," he whispered.

Matt chewed his lower lip nervously for a moment. "Ya know how I said there was a second thing that Jeff told me?"

"Yeah?"

"I wanna know if he's telling the truth."

"Well, what did he tell you?"

"He told me…" He paused for a moment, thinking over the right words in his head. "He told me that you would like this."

Matt leaned down to him and kissed Shannon's lips as gently as a feather brushing across the skin. He felt no response. Pulling back he looked hesitantly into Shannon's emerald stare. He could see surprise in their depths. A shiver ran through Shannon's body and Matt felt it as he held the boy in his arms. He couldn't read what he was thinking or feeling though. Matt, who was incredibly talented in figuring people out, had never been able to break Shannon's code. He could only wait for a response.

"I can't believe you just kissed me," he said softly.

"I'm sorry. Jeff told me that you were bisexual. I guess he was wrong."

"No, he told you the truth. Jeff knows better than anyone," he smirked.

Matt arched a brow. "You're not dating him are you?"

"No! No, no, no," Shannon laughed. "Well, not since a long time ago. Looks like now I get to see what the other Hardy brother is like, though."

Matt tried to make a snide remark to that, but he was silenced by Shannon's sweet kiss. He gave a soft moan and leaned into him again, his hand cupping Shannon's cheek. They pecked at each other lips tenderly until Matt trailed his kisses across Shannon's face and partway down his throat.

"I never thought that I would be with you like this," Shannon whispered.

"Never?"

"I thought you were straight. Even Jeff thinks you're straight."

Matt smiled a bit. "I am, except for when it comes to you. I've never even looked at another, never considered it. When you and I first met, though, I knew I'd end up following Jeff's rainbow footsteps if you only allowed me to."

Shannon's lips quivered slightly as if he would begin to cry, but he took a steadying breath. "I haven't seen you look at me like this since before I came onto this show. I always had my suspicions about you. The way you looked at me sometimes, how would always hug me and touch me, and how you always whispered words of encouragement in my ear. In so many ways you were closer to me than Jeff. But you would always call me your best friend and your second little brother. I just never guessed my hunches would come true."

"Do you believe that I'll never hurt you again?"

"Yes."

"And you know that I'm sorry?"

"Yes, Matty. I love you."

"I've loved you forever."

Shannon lightly pecked his cheek. "Despite the things that you did wrong you always had good intentions. I can forgive you. My scars will heal with time, as will yours."

"I can never make it up to you," he said solemnly.

"Yes, you can. Just love me. Put all your best intentions into your love. You can't go wrong as long as you follow your heart."

"You should've been a Hardy Boy. You come up with great slogans just like we did," Matt chuckled.

"Maybe someday it'll be legal for me to become Shannon Hardy." Matt arched a brow at that one, but then chuckled a bit. "Until then I'll settle for being a whole new category of MFer."

"Yeah? And what would that be?"

"Not a Matt Follower anymore. Now a Matt Fucker."

Matt's cry of surprise echoed through the locker room as he was shoved to his back, along with most of the other provocative sounds that followed. Outside of the locker room Jeff smirked to himself and shook his head, deciding against paying his brother a visit after all.

"He's a little busy. I'll just leave a dirty message on his voice mail later," Jeff laughed as he walked away.

**The End**

_Legalities: Matt Hardy, Jeff Hardy, Shannon Moore, and any other mentioned characters are property of World Wrestling Entertainment. I claim no knowledge of each of the characters sexual preferences or lives. This is a story of fiction, none of these events are real. I received absolutely no profit from this story._


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